Something I share in both my groups and individual sessions is the only thing guaranteed in life is change. Nothing and no one can stay the same. Our experiences expand from what we know about the world as well as what we know about ourselves. But time after time I am walking a journey with clients who have a common fear, which breeds hopelessness:
“Things will never be any different so what’s the point of it all. I’m just stuck.”
Stuck is a mental battleground that spills over into ones behaviors, keeping you in a cycle that looks like tar or quick sand, tricking you into believing nothing is going on around or in you, but I’m here to tell you, it’s just not true.
How do I Know?
Probably one of the best ways to combat the false fears of remaining in the same is to seek out evidence to the contrary of this limiting belief. Some of the ways you would do that could be:
-Compare where you are today to where you were the same time last year. In the midst of feeling down our thoughts can be cloudy and we may not be able to distinguish differences. One of the most eye opening ways I’ve done this is to find an email I sent, a journal I was writing in or look at some pictures (online, on your phone, etc) from that time period to reflect on what was really going on and the growth I have had since that period.
-Identify something you used to consider as “hard” and challenge yourself to do it within the week. Are you better able to manage a challenge in a way you had not a while ago? Has your confidence and your ability to utilize your personal resources become more present in your life? Change has occurred.
-If you are feeling stuck it’s likely due to a circumstance you want out of. Can you reflect upon a time in the past where you felt the same way and remember how you did conquer this situation? If you can and can apply these solutions to your current circumstance, change is present on the inside for sure! Because of your trials you have become someone who has proven to be resilient AND who doesn’t wait for change, but creates it.
Like Florida Seasons
Are there 4 seasons in Florida? From the outside, it’s really hard to tell. Now, if I ask my sister to send me a winter picture of her in New York opposed to the blossoming spring, it’s clear as day when she’s chattering here teeth and when she’s “smelling the roses” so to speak. Don’t be fooled…we still have seasons here (warm, hot, hotter and “I’m not leaving the house or I’ll melt” time), but it takes being here to recognize it, just like it takes being present and mindful of what’s really happening with you to know in fact, you are in a new season in your life and it’s time to dress for the occasion. Winter is over my dear. Step into your Spring, ready to go and grow.