She has endured life’s ups and downs, she’s remained where she is and admits she has fear everyday but “conquers” it, therefore she is a survivor of her circumstances. She is courageous…right?? What more can we ask but for her to keep he fight going for just one more day of getting by? What’s more is hope. For as long as I can remember, there has always been advice, beautiful quotes and works of art about embracing fear and being strong for accepting it and still marching on. We evolve, we understand there’s more possibilities as time goes on and I declare there is more than living with fear and making it work.
I’m getting by just fine
We are survivors, but must we always be warriors fighting with fear. In my opinion, I want more than just strength, but also peace. In hope, there is peace. Let’s paint a picture of what this looks like:
Brandy has been with Tim since she was in college. The love of her life. Brandy has their first child, born from intense connection and love. Brandy has a good job, good friends and a loving family. Brandy comes Tim’s phone when cleaning and as she moves it off the couch, it vibrates. On the screen “I can’t wait to see you again. Tuesday night was amazing. Kisses. Love you.” Brandy was at her mothers house on Tuesday night and Tim….was working late.
Fast forward and Brandy is hurt and announces her plans to leave. She calls her sister who instill fear in Brandy about the possibility to raise a baby on her own without Tim who has a good job, about dealing with the status change and letting down the family. Brandy stays because she is afraid of change and loss. Brandy survives the rest of her years with Tim because she is afraid of a world without Tim. This means that her every move is based in keeping this status quo. Her anxiety rises at the idea of “losing it all” which is everyday because with each day comes change. Change now becomes a dirty word and fear is a permanent resident. Peace??? What’s that?
And Then There is Hope
What’s Brandy’s story with some hope injected:
Brandy is confused by this disruption in her relationship and she calls her sister for insight. Her sister introduces hope to Brandy and tells her the truth about things always changing, but tells Brandy what happens from this point forward is in Brandy’s hands and that she is empowered to write her own story, whatever that might be. Brandy has hope, maybe not specific hope that Tim will be someone else but the kind of hope that leads to belief that YOU will be who you say you will be your choices will be born of your own vision for your happiness. Brandy does not feel shackled, but free to accept and free to change her thoughts, her actions and her ideas.
There is Infinitely More
You’ve survived long enough. Have hope, faith and then belief that you are free. You are ever changing and life is ever expanding, as you hold the pen to author a story with the kind of peace and happiness you deserve.
Although I may not think that I am afraid, dep down in my core, I have doubt fueled by fear on the unknown. Each time I believe that I am making progress, that voice (which is of fear), pulls back (yanks) my hope. Then I get off course and it takes time to regroup to the point of progression.
Every time you think you are making progress you ARE. There are emotional and mental setbacks, however the lessons learned in falling and finding your way back up are invaluable. You discover a strength in yourself you were not previously aware and eventually a fear you had fades away because you now know more of what is possible, therefore no longer unknown. Keep pushing (I know you do) and give yourself credit for your growth.