We celebrate the 4th of July once a year, but the need for independence remains with us every day. I know it’s important as we go so far as to fight for it, create all sorts of clothing, signs and symbols to represent our passion for personal freedom and independence.
How do you experience and live your freedom? Maybe its in your career, where you feel free to be creative or contribute in a unique way. Maybe it’s in interesting hobbies or traveling the world, where you feel you are not bound to one place or a way of being. Maybe its in a place closer to home and closer to your heart…in being unconditionally loved and loving the same way.
A friend of mine recently said something to me in a conversation about commitment, relationships, compromise and personal freedom. Her words stuck with me:
Me: “I can’t live without my sense of independence and freedom”
Friend: “Well, love is Freedom.”
Boom, fireworks! That rang so true for me and I imagine it might hit home for a lot of you. If not, maybe you are not aware of that sweet spot that comes with the privilege of having a genuine connection and trust with someone else.
What Freedom looks like
If you are contemplating thoughts of feeling stifled by your partner and not “free” at all, let me give you some idea as to what this freedom I’m talking about looks like:
- When you are away from the one(s) you love, you are out in the world trying to accomplish a goal (i.e. a work project, weight loss, schooling, etc) and you didn’t quite hit the mark; you could feel defeated or a failure in this instance, but somehow the knowledge that you are valuable to the most important people in your life leaves you and your esteem protected by their love. It provides you the bravery to accept this fall, but also to get up again.
- You want to try something new, you want to make a drastic career change, travel to a place you’ve never dared to venture, meet new people, consider a new political view. Standing alone in the world and being hyper-identified in a specific box might leave you fearful of change and pursing your real interest, however encapsulated by the boundless love of someone who communicates to you that you have been and will always be accepted by them, allows you the space and comfort to grow.
- Your loved one is secure with themselves, not extending any insecurities or anxiety onto you, hence this gives you the freedom of not feeling obligated to prove their importance to you, but instead willfully and joyfully share expressions of love and affection with them…at will.
Its rough out there sometimes
Its hard enough navigating our moment to moment changes in personal emotions, circumstances, environment, relationships and society’s expectations. The tide changes and we ride it out, sometimes smoothly and sometimes getting wiped out. This is life and that aspect of change and evolution will always remain. The freedom we enjoy, is found in the strength, assurance and stability of that life jacket of love and light house of connection we are blessed to keep us steady in the midst of it all.
Are you operating without that safety? Ask yourself how you can create healthy relationships in your life. These partnerships make us more resilient, better able to be authentically ourselves and by proxy, better able to share with and enhance the world with our most valuable qualities.